Shasta Cove Dogs
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Abbey near the end....

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Abbey has been quite ill since last night and I think she may be dying.

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She is at the vet's right now - more to see if there is anything we can do to ease her into what is coming, then with any idea of 'saving' her......tho I am holding onto a shred of hope as I sit here in tears........I know she has been terminally ill, for a long time now, weaker, more frail, blinder with each passing week - and yet,  she has been so with us, so present, so here, so Abbey! that I find it more difficult than ever to think of her not being here. I can't quite imagine it..........nor do I want to.                                                          abbeyhenry.jpg    

It has been a lesson and a blessing to witness as Abbey accepts and encompasses all that has come her way - it has in no way lessened her, it has made her more - all of Abbey has been with us now: the strong and the weak, the sightful and the blind, the loving and the loved - she has allowed us to give to her, she has been able to surrender to our loving in a way she could not do before. It has been wonderful to feel her melt into our gentle caresses; watch her let the other pups sleep up against her, warming her and holding her in place; see her sleeping soundly on the daybed by the windows while Hank, and sometimes, Tux, right next to her, keep the careful watch now.

And, at the same time, her strength, her dignity, her wisdom are intact and with us, too - she leads and frolics - with a gleeful, young Abbey wonder, and the careful, old Abbey body - she barks and laughs and orders us all about - and she carefully walks the perimeter of our (her!) 3 acre enclosure at least once a day to check on her domain.....abbey3.jpg

 

                                                 more soon......              


 

 

 

 

....WOW.....Abbey has come home and has eaten a good dinner, gone out and checked the perimeter, and is now sound alseep at my feet. She is ok.....for the moment. We will take the moment. It's all any of us have anyway. The vet said he cannot believe how well she is doing for how ill she is, her blood work is actually good.........she has Cushing's disease and an adrenal tumor which is perhaps malignant and is pushing in on her heart.....this we have known for a year......and yet, here she is, with us......once again I am sure that there is some(thing)(one) at work here that is not known to me, but perhaps to Abbey. She reminds me of Dad in the last year of his life, preparing us all for his death - or at least those of us who were willing to look and see and feel with him.........to take each step as it came. It's Abbey's acceptance of her life as it comes near to death that shows us how to really live.

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I witness Abbey's journey and begin to understand my own.

 

 



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There are love dogs no one knows the name of.  Give your life to be one of them. - Rumi